Kentucky Fried Coonin!!!!!!

KFC

Kentucky Fried Coonin

You already know what it is..I hate to do it to you but I have to speak on dumb shit when I see dumb shit. We all love her; Lord knows I do but OPRAH IS DEAD ASS WRONG FOR THIS!!You would have had to been living under a rock or a hard place for the pass week to not know that

Oprah Win-free (lol Winfrey) has issued out coupons for FREE KFC CHICKEN..which in and of itself is a nice gesture. I am not going to lie; I got real excited about it. I mean anything with the word FREE attached to the beginning of it is always music to my ears. I copped my free KFC grilled chicken meal and enjoyed that succulent, tender white meat. Damn, it reminded me of this girl named.... Oh, but that’s another story.IT IS A RECESSION, so I indulged. But then I got to thinking...OUT OF ALL THE SHIT WRONG WITH BLACKS IN AMERICA ALL YOU CAN OFFER US IS CHICKEN??I mean, Oprah, honestly...you didn't think we needed a coupon for some children's vitamins? It's the same price as the box of chicken! How about $5.00 towards my mutha-fuckin bills? How about a $5.00 coupon for some condoms? Or even a $5.00 Metro Card? My point is that we could have been given any damn thing else BESIDES CHICKEN. Since when have you known black folks to be in NEED of chicken? I keep a two wings and a biscuit in my pocket at all times. LOL You never know when a dude might need a piece of chicken to ward off stick up boys who have the munchies, rabid pit-bull dogs or hungry crack heads, ya know.

AND WHILE I AM AT IT...

WHY KFC...EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT POPEYE'S IS MUCH BETTER?You know its Oprah! How much are those people at KFC paying you to bump their product? I know you like to eat girl. I seen you when you was a thick, juicy (tender?) chunky thing in the 80's & 90’s and...You know what I mean. So you mean to tell me that you CHOSE KFC over POPEYE'S? I can't imagine. I have to investigate this further but in my book..POPEYE'S BEATS KFC ANY DAY!

AND WHILE I AM AT IT.....

HOW DA FUCK YOU GONNA GIVE AWAY CHICKEN AND NO PACK OF RED KOOL-AID TO GO WITH IT?How you expect us to chew this dry ass grilled chicken without anything to wash it down? The only thing any self-respecting black person drinks to accompany chicken is KOOL-AID. At the very least you could have included a free small soda. I mean..the meal DOES come with a drink. And I am not even going to require that my drink be purple drank. (You know some black folks say DRANK.. lmao)

AND WHILE I AM AT IT....

Since when you Niggas print shit off da 'puter? (Computer for those who have no clue what Ebonics is..SMH) You can't find the computer for college applications, you won't use a computer to look for a job, you won't print out information that will help your tired ass but you can find a computer to print a FUCKIN FREE COUPON FOR CHICKEN?! Yeah, if your salty at that comment that means I am TALKING TO YOU!! Then you going to turn to me and tell me that you printed our 25 tickets so that you can eat free all week. Niggas was running down the coupon's security features like a notorious money bootlegger (it's all embedded in the coupon code, son). Ah, apparently there is a technique to it. I am not mad that you’re coming back for more (I mean. it’s free) but I AM mad that you want to tell me about it.

AND WHILE I AM AT IT......

How da fuck are you people pulling up in $60,000.00 vehicles to get your free chicken? I couldn't believe my eyes at the ignorant shit I have seen this week. I personally witnesses people walking, hopping off the bus and rolling up to KFC in droves. Was wondering what was so special about the offer that people took special trips, cut school and left work early (no, they did!) to get to KFC "before they run out"! LOL..that's a problem right there black folks, since when is KFC going to RUN OUT OF CHICKEN?? THATS WHAT THEY DO...make chicken. I just SMDH at the panicked free chicken seekers.

AND WHILE I AM AT IT...

Why the fuck are you DANCING, nigga? Why are you in the KFC parking lot DANCING a JIG because you are so excited about your free chicken. It hurt me to see my people out here celebrating. There were people of all ages and sizes coming together as one to cop their free chicken. The old, the young, the fat AND the skinny were celebrating as a PEOPLE. It almost warmed my heard until I realized that I haven't seen this much joy since Obama was elected. Yeah, I think that's a sad irony too, feel me?

AND WHILE I AM AT IT...

There was not a white, Asian, Indian, Hindu, or albino person to be found on line waiting for free chicken. You know why? It's embarrassing for some of them to be on line to obtain anything free AND chicken is universally associated with American Black People. Had that been Starbucks or Whole Foods pre-cut carry along carrot sticks they would have been posted outside the store for days like they do when a new Harry Potter book gets released. I mean, I'm not saying it’s a black and white thing. but it kinda is.

AND WHILE I AM AT IT...

I don't want y'all to think I am hating (I am) but in the effort of showing just how bad we are willing to coon for our meal I am accepting submissions for next weeks post. Send me a picture of you copping your KFC chicken (goongie31@gmail.com) and I will post all entries here next week. The person from the farthermost distance or the most unique picture will be featured right here by your boy. I feel a strange type of fear/anticipation at the possibilities. I am not sure what to expect but I leave that in the hands of my dear, dear readers.Now I am hungry after all that writing. Think I'll print me out another one of those coupons


Until we meet again…

This is your boy Young M. Clayton signing out!!!!

Deuce’s!!!!!