"The 7 Do's & Dont's of a Re-Lay-Boo (Relationship)"

What's Goodie America Greetings & Salutations.....
It feels good to be Young, Black & Single!!!!!! Yes I said it SINGLE... Now if you are reading this chances are you have read my last Blog post entitled "Hold On I Got A Story To Tell" and you're wondering WTF happend to the post well I'll tell you...... Sometimes for me I get like David Banner "You Won't Like Me When I'm Angry..lol" and I tend to get on my Incredible Hulk shit. But at the end of the day I'm not a cold hearted person.. I'm mean I can really get my point across but it's no reason to keep beating a dead horse. So I decided in good consicence to take it down, an use my powers for good * Master Yoda Voice The Force is strong with this one Luke* to bring positive insight and creative thinking to the forefront and not stay on *The Darkside*.

"Now that I got the mushy & political correct shit out of the way....
*Horn Sound* Let's Go In!!!!!!!!"

Now that the weather is getting nice and people are
shedding their winter "blues" for summertime "Swag" I started thinking about the various relationships that I have & still encounter to this day, and suddenly the ill-est concept came over me!!!!! I need to make a manual or a set of rules to help out my
fellow player's & diva's navigate and make their way through this enigma that we call relationships!!! I sat down rolled up a Dub (20 sack for you non-smokers) of some sour diesel, and poured me a glass of some"Henessey Privelage" and commenced to putting the pen to paper. I wanted to come up with a set of rules that will help you in the words of the late great Notorious B.I.G "Get Your Game on Track, Not your Wig
Pushed Back!!!" and put youon the path of enlightenment & pure bliss in your new Re-Lay-Boo-Ship!!! aka (Relationship)

So off we go let the trumpets blow, and hold cuz the driver of the mission is a pro.. The Ruler's Back.. lol

If you wanna play this game then you need to follow these rules and hopefully you Too can get have you a Re-Lay-Boo-Ship!Now yo ucan't say I aint never did nothin for you!!! Enjoy

Negotiate The Terms and Conditions of Your Agreement. Before any type of activities commences one is often asked to read and initial an agreement. The purpose of such an instrument is to spell out the terms and conditions of your business dealings. Since this is smart business sense for the early stages of any relationship, why not also in the realm of the Re-Lay-Boo-Ship? Exactly what are the boundaries? What's expected from either party? How does a party end this relationship? Is there a stipulation for early termination? Is there a buy out option? Is this a no fault agreement? Is there a long-term clause in the event the either party has a change in status? What should be done if either party catches feelings? Is changing phone numbers abruptly punishable by a brick through your windshield or is it okay if one side decides to disappear without warning? If you two see each other in public is a head nod sufficient or should I just act like I don't know you? The details MUST be discussed, hacked out and negotiated until both parties can feel like they are part of a win/win situation. After all, this is a Re-Lay-Boo-Ship, not a real relationship. One that may lead up to marriage and kids where anything and everything can happen because 'we're in love'.

Please Keep it Clean-I watch my potential Boo's close. I need to find out what she does and with who. When was the last time she took her car in for a tune up (check up)? How many ex's does she have compared to ex-jumps offs? She may have had three ex's and 24 ex'Boos. Crunch them numbers. The numbers tell a story. I can't sleep with a person that sleeps with everybody else and I dam sure won't choose that person to be my Boo? Why? Because you MUST keep it clean in a Re-Lay-Boo-Ship. I can't sleep with you and you're sleeping with Rah, Bam, Hakim and Danny. If you're a female you should not want to sleep with no dude that has had two or more chicks pregnant at the same time or where you have witnessed three or more females fight over him in the middle of the street. That's what you call PDC (Potentially Diseased Coochie/Cock). I don't want any of that. If you do, then I don't want you either. How am I supposed to explain the fire shooting out my d*& when I use the bathroom to MY GIRL. Besides, if you don't care enough about yourself to keep your sexual health in check why in the world would I trust you to protect mine?

Know Your Team-In order to have a successful Re-Lay-Boo-Ship; all players must know their position. You can't get mad at a third runner up when s/he fails to accommodate you on a Saturday night, when his/her normal shift is on Tuesdays during your lunch hour. If your Girl/Boy or First runner up causes a change in schedule then the third runner up should be prepared to shift his/her priorities, as so should you. After all, as the third tier worker, s/he is only on Per-Diem until an opening becomes available or s/he gets tired of waiting around. The positions should be initially discussed during the negotiation phase, which is also the opportune time to write in any language about changing priorities or Boo-status. You should know whom all the other team members are from Mom Dukes, to Cousin Toya, to how many children I have. You should know when to call if you want to reach me. You should know important birthdays; vacations and holidays are the days that you have off.


Keep Your Dog on A Tight Leash-Having a Re-Lay-Boo-Ship is not for the simple wo/man, no. One of the worse situations is a person attempting to have a Re-Lay-Boo-Ship with a sidepiece that doesn't stay in his/her lane. You are the side piece-that means STAY ON THE SIDE. Don't get out of pocket because you're mad and call my Main Chick to spill the beans. Don't make any plans for a future that we haven't discussed. Don't get caught up thinking there will be bills, babies and co-habituating.
Your Buddy Can't be a Victim-I don't care how fine she is, or how big your bleeding heart is, or how good he makes love to you or how much you were taught to 'give a black man a chance'. A Boo can't be a victim and a victim can't be a Boo. See, a Re-Lay-Boo-Ship is about a win/win mutually beneficial relationship simply because there is space and opportunity to have it. There is a business demand that requires the hiring of a temp employee, per say. Victims, either mentally or do to their situation have nothing else popping but what you present to them when you feel like a little something extra and call on them. Once you start to give them a little, you run the risk of them seeing you as A) their come up or B) they fall in love because they 'don't have anyone else' but you around. Either way it’s too much effort and expectations to risk if your with a main Chick/Dude and this is your Boo. Remember, the most dangerous person in a situation is one with nothing to loose.

Your Boo Can't be a Fan Club Member-We all have people that we know find us attractive but there is just something about them that makes you stay away. There is a reason for that. Something about you is so excited to get near me that you make me think that you know that YOU aren't on my level. Either literally or in your mind, you are entirely too excited with the prospect of getting next to me. That spells stalker, psycho and potential Felon. You know that person that’s been trying to get with you since Jr. High School? Yeah, them. No, not them. A Boo cannot and should not be a person that has been collecting pictures of you out the town newspaper since way back. He/she can't be the one who is nice to you no matter how nasty you treat them. S/he cannot be the one who just gives you that 'crazy' vibe. The 'crazy vibe' is your instinct warning you that this stray may have rabies and will one day need to be put down. Don't make it be you.

No Tricky Shit-There is a certain type of love making that one reserves for Valentine's day, near death experiences or I’m gonna throw this on him/her, cuz I know s/he is thinking about leaving me cuz I been fuckin up' type sex. The kind where you walk into the room with all intentions that somebody’s going to get hurt tonight, them or me. Somebody is about to get CBreezied tonight to some old Usher music. You walk in with a can of Mello Yello, two magic markers, some Saran Wrap, a rubber band, GI Joe action figure and a flashlight. It's about to be on and popping. The beauty of old lovers is that you know what how & what it do's. You know how to pop da pop off, but often don't do it all in the same night. I mean, shit, we all got jobs and need our sleep, right? Never, under any circumstances pull the tricks off with the Boo. You can't run the risk of doing some shyt to that person that will have them tweaking like Smokey on Friday. You might pull some shyt off on them that has them look at you with the googlie eyes. You won't know you went to far until your Boo is outside your job screaming to security to 'bring her husband' down to talk to her. Or you might even pull some shit that has them so freaked out that they start to avoid your azz. Either way, keep the Great Adventure trips at home. Caveat: This does not apply if you DO NOT pull tricks at home because your significant other is not into the acrobatic shit. Some people ain't. Fuck it. But if that the case then your Boo is the person you use when you have the urge to introduce animals, plant life and endangered species into your lovemaking.

And to that I say, "More Power to you", please send pictures.
Until we meet again!!!
Young M. Clayton

A Helping Hand!!!!!!

A Helping Hand

There are a few things spinning in my head this past week. I am still on my mission to expose bullshit when I see it. Today's message is for all of those that need a helping hand. Before you stop reading this and holla at me on Twitter( http://twitter.com/YoungMClayton-shameless plug) to tell me that I'm buggin, let me explain further.

"She ain't got no money in the bank".... an epic line from Swizz Beats. Bet you didn’t even realize the wisdom in those words.

See, I am working Joe. A single dude out here in the world, I chill from time to time in the clubs. I see something I like - I do my thing. I might buy a woman a drink; I might buy her two drinks. We might exchange phone numbers. Baby girl looks fly, rocking the latest so am I wrong to assume she has some money in her pocket? We may go out a few times, I'll pick up the tab because I'm a gentleman. But after a point in time, I start to notice that this chick never has a dime in her pocket. A little further investigation reveals that she not only has no money in her pocket but that she also lives on the couch at her cousin's house in the projects. Her sole occupation in life is finding guys to take care of her, to take her shopping and give her spending money. Once she’s pressed to contribute, she gets an attitude and blames everyone else for ‘using her’ and leaving her ‘to fend for herself’. All she has to offer are her womanly favors, drama, and the burden of providing for her (expensive) needs. She’ll be with any man that’s willing to pay. Her only concern is her next power move. Her only value lies within the labels on her clothing (purchased by her ex, boosted or bootleg).
I got no respect for this type of chick. At least a Ho recognizes that this is a “business arrangement”. A Ho may be using her body as a means to an end. Pay her and handle your business so the two of you can get back to your respective lives, ya feel me? I can't be mad at that!
Please don't think I am picking on the females. There are dudes that do it too. I am not sure which is whacker...the girls playing victim or the dudes playing Gigolo.


I bet you already know about the Playboy? Every hood has one. He has good looks, and charm and if you didn't know better you would think he had an income. Consider his fresh gear, the whips he pushes through the hood and the credit cards you see him pulling out at the local food spot. It’s all smoke and mirrors. Dude ain't got no job, he ain't got no place to live, he ain't got nothing to offer besides taking his clothes off for whoever will support him in exchange for the perception of a relationship. Don’t know what sadder. The dude who needs a ‘momma’ to take care of him or the chicks that think they have to provide for a man to keep him.

He makes his living by saddling up with the chick (or dude yeah I said it because we all know there are some Down Low Dudes out there.. Real Talk) that got their shit together enough for him to siphon off a decent existence. He doesn't contribute anything to anyone, including himself. How he eats, drinks, and survives all depends on a WOMAN giving it to him. He's an overgrown kid sitting up at her house eating all her baby's cereal. He'll cop your son's socks and wear um as footies because he has no money of his own to clothe him self. He's the dude that drives her to and from work in her car and fills the tank with her gas money. He might even dip across town and take HIS baby's mother grocery shopping in his woman's car with the money she gave him for ‘pocket money’ (but that’s another story). He does his dirt but stays on a short leash. Once a woman demands that he get up and find a job and contribute, he’ll have a tantrum, he might pretend to look or he might get angry enough to leave her high and dry with piled up bills and babies that he helped create. He’ll get with the next desperate female who he was gaming on behind his current woman’s back (Upgrade?). You know how it is all charities need sponsors!!!! LOL

Now I understand people being in between jobs, I understand being down on your luck. But what I don't understand are the people that think someone owes them something. There are chicks out here that purposely have babies with the highest bidder to ensure she has stable income. If she can't hook baller status then her “Plan B” is to be on public assistance for as long as she can get it. Constantly working on her next come up. Her next hustle. I’ve seen people like this go from shelter, to project, to shelter; to welfare line all their lives.
Not sure what's more trifling, a female acting like a whore or a man acting like a bitch by being a “Man-whore”. There are some men that will sleep with women or MEN to get what it is they want. Never does it occur to either of these types of people that…

Don’t nobody owe you nothing!!

I get confused. I really do. Who da fuck are you to think you should show up and get all the spoils of life? Who da fuck are you to think that you don’t have to work like the rest of us? What is so special about you that you believe another person should work and toil in order to fulfill your needs? I am not even talking about JUST the Gold Diggers. I’m talking about those who are homeless and hungry RIGHT NOW, because they refuse to work at a job that pays less then what they think they should earn. They are bitter and angry because someone took something away that was given to them.. food, shelter, money, a car, freedom. I am talking them and the people that make a living off of public assistance. The ones who lives in the basement of grandma’s house (because she lets him) up to and beyond the point of grandma being put in her grave without ever working on a plan to take care of themselves. Ah, yes.

A Master Plan…everyone should have one.

If your laying up living off of drug money then why isn’t your girl in school getting her education so that she can help you move that money into a legit business?

A plan…what will you do once the day comes when you can’t do whatever it is that you have been doing to get by or get over? What comes next? Do YOU have a 5 yr plan? A next 10-minute plan? If not checkout my man Ash Cash the http://theashcashshow.com/
How about get a job? That’s always a good step. It kills me to hear blacks talk about the Mexicans and the Africans. You’re laughing and clowning them but while they may work for pocket change they are also making moves behind the scene. You’ll be making an appointment with that Pakistani’s son when he becomes a doctor to help you with the high blood pressure you got from eating all that Kennedy Fried Chicken they was peddling to you while you laughed at them and turned over your hustled up money.

My black folks are killing me, for real. Every nationality has spent time being the underdog in this country. Italian, Irish, German, Jewish, Mid Eastern, Pilipino. you name it. When they came to this country they were poor, unfamiliar with their environment, didn’t speak the language and each and every one of them got in where they fit in and pulled themselves up by their bootstraps. At one time we only wanted a piece of land to sharecrop on, at one time we only wanted to be allowed to show up and work. At one time the “freed slaves” had a plan to find their way to economic stability; proud because they earned their way through life…we wanted only to be allowed a pair of boots to pull up.

What happened to us black folks?

Why do some people feel entitled?

Having President Obama in the office makes it clear to me that with education, perseverance and a plan…any person can go far in this country. As soon as we get a little pocket change…we go buy rims, or a new car. Neither of which has any value to anyone other than the person that sold it to you. Credit cards, payday loans, closets full of designer shoes and purses. You men with the boxes upon boxes of never worn or once worn kicks. (Can’t lie I used to be like that.. But Shit I had to grow up!) Jordan didn’t need your donation, but he and Nike surely do appreciate it.


And talking about spinning your wheels on irrelevant shit.


I’m hurting for my black woman right now. I’m hurting for the good chicks that do have a plan but their man isn’t on the same page. I’m a respectable dude and I really don’t wanna smash the next man’s piece. I get conversations at work, overhear it on the train and read it on the net. There are a lot of black women out here holding it down in their relationships. I see you, Ma. I hear your man talking shit on you about how you nag him to stay home. How you complain that he’s always out with his friends. I don’t understand how the dudes think that shit is lightweight. If dude stopped hearing his woman nag and started listening instead he could hear what I hear. Your woman wants you to be present and accounted for in the relationship.

For the slow people. Your woman wants to spend time with you. Did you ever think that she might do some of the cooking and ‘special treats’ that she doesn’t do ‘like she used to’ if you were there with her more often? I know dudes that spend more time at their (single) boys house playing video games and smoking, then they do in their own house. You expect your woman to come home to an empty house each night. Or you hang out Mon-Sunday and stagger in whenever you get there and then get mad when she doesn’t want to see about you at 3 AM? She accuses you of doing everything under the sun with the next chick and you say she’s nagging and tripping for no reason.

Why aren’t you rushing home to run her a hot bath? Or asking her sit down and kick her shoes off so that you can rub her feet and ask her how HER day was? You could make a daily ritual of sleighing her over the back of the couch as soon as she walks in the door. I guarantee you if you did those things more often you could get your hot meal with the big piece of chicken, a cold 22 oz. delivered to you on the couch and a much happier, less complaining woman. She would send you out the door with a smile on your face. She would encourage you to hang out with your friends and have fun. Things will definitely improve as long as she knows she is a part of your life along with the social life and friends and not some type of ill responsibility that you try your best to avoid. We have enough dysfunctional families out here. If your with a nice female and your plan was to build with her, then I urge you to get your focus back on your home life. And if you find that a relationship isn’t what you were looking for after all, then be man enough to put it on the table and free her back into the world. I’m single and would love to meet a nice chick, I would hate to think she’s missing out on me because she’s wasting her time waiting on you to be the man your NOT.